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  • Vote Up0Vote Down SartoriSartori
    Posts: 2,138
     A man and a woman go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant , sat at their table , they notice a noise from the next table coming from a round box on it , suddenly its lid opens half an inch and an eye inside looks at them and then the lids drops shut . The couple look at each other and carry on eating , about 5 minutes later , the same thing happens again , the lid lifts slightly and the eye looks at them . They call over the waiter and ask "Excuse me , but what is in that box please ? " , the waiter replies , "Oh that sir , thats the Peking Duck" .
    Post edited by Sartori at 2013-07-10 05:37:15
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • Vote Up0Vote Down LuDuxLuDux
    Posts: 1,880
    imageimage
    I take the needle off the Technics and put it in my vein
  • Vote Up0Vote Down whisperitwhisperit
    Posts: 641
    Allow me to recommend The Daily Mash

    (today's headline, "Protestants Parading Around Like a Bunch of Dildos Again")
  • Vote Up0Vote Down SartoriSartori
    Posts: 2,138
    I love the Daily Mash, it goes to my Faceboook feed. I can also recommend The Poke.
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,168
    The Onion?
    https://sentienceww.blogspot.com
  • Vote Up0Vote Down whisperitwhisperit
    Posts: 641
    ^yes, the Onion is good. It does have a tendency to prolong the joke though, dont you think?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down LuDuxLuDux
    Posts: 1,880
    whisperit said:

    ^yes, the Onion is good. It does have a tendency to prolong the joke though, dont you think?




    I take the needle off the Technics and put it in my vein
  • Vote Up0Vote Down The_CarpathianThe_Carpathian
    Posts: 1,837
    LuDux said:

    whisperit said:

    ^yes, the Onion is good. It does have a tendency to prolong the joke though, dont you think?






    The way Stewert Lee repeatedly hammers a joke home is akin to a sniper hitting a bullseye with his first shot then managing to fire off more rounds repeatedly & perfectly through the hole the initial one made.

    Absolute genius. I wonder how long it takes somebody who knows his style well to realise that clip's twist :D
    Post edited by The_Carpathian at 2013-07-13 18:35:50
    A million fires before your harvest comes. To burn out.
    Wear the mask of a heathen. For the moon's lonely eyes.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down whisperitwhisperit
    Posts: 641
    ^Yes. Funny, that. I love Stewart Lee, but get bored with The Onion.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down whisperitwhisperit
    Posts: 641
    Adapted from a tv programme last night:

    A photon walks into the check-in at an airport.

    "I'd like a ticket to Paris, please"

    "That'll be £99, sir," says the attendant. "Now, do you need to check in any luggage?"

    "No thanks," says the photon, "I'm travelling light"


    ithankyou
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,168
    Hahahaha!  Very good!
    https://sentienceww.blogspot.com
  • Vote Up0Vote Down whisperitwhisperit
    Posts: 641
    Thanks, ww.

    Here's another scienctific one - though you'll have to have a passing familiarity with British currency to get it.

    Man walks into a bar

    "I'd like a pint of adenosine tri-phosphate please"

    "Certainly sir. That'll be eighty p"



  • Vote Up0Vote Down Halloween_JackHalloween_Jack
    Posts: 2,293

    ^ Took me a while to get that! :))

    This one only works if you are old enough to remember that Trans World Airlines (TWA) was an American airline (until bought out and merged in 2001).

    Hostess: "Hello sir, would you like some of our TWA coffee?"

    Man: "No, but I'll have some of your TWA tea!"

    Avondale guesthouse
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,168
    I'm guessing a really good knowledge of biologics and chemistry wouldn't hurt, either. 
    ;)
    https://sentienceww.blogspot.com
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,168
    Goodness!  Finally go it, Whisperit! 
    :D
    https://sentienceww.blogspot.com
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